A few weeks ago my daughter had five cavities. Yes that’s right, five. Five cavities which needed to be filled either using laughing gas or sedation. While most of my mom friends were supportive, there was one voice who was not. She told me it was my fault. She said I gave my daughter too much juice. She told me I let her fall asleep without brushing her teeth. I let her eat too many goldfish. I gave her lollipops at the bank. Who is this judgemental person you ask? It’s me, myself, and I.
You see mamas, we judge ourselves much harder than we do other moms. I was so upset at the dentist and repeatedly blamed myself for my daughter’s cavities. I called a few friends and a few of them told me they had similar experiences with their kids. Did I judge them the way I judged myself? No; of course not. I was relieved to hear someone else had been there. Even the dentist said “Kids get cavities, it happens.”
Whenever I see another child throwing a tantrum at Target, I think two things. “Ugh, I feel so bad for this mom” and “Glad it’s not just my kid who behaves this way. “
Does mom shaming happen? You bet. People make dumb comments about breastfeeding or not, co-sleeping, cry it out, whatever. But no one is truly judging your parenting skills the way you are mama. 90% of the time, they have been where you are and they sympathize.
I am extremely fortunate to have a great husband, family and friends who remind me I am doing a good job as a mom, even when I feel like I’m not.
Be kind to yourself. Remind yourself you’re doing a great job. Reach out to your fellow mamas when you need support. You got this.