It goes too fast...

“It goes too fast.” This is a phrase a mother of two young children hears often. It’s a constant reminder the years of having babies and toddlers flies by in the blink of an eye. When I hear it , I usually respond with “ yea yea , I know. “

Recently though, it’s as if the universe is constantly reminding me of that phrase. I saw a coworker in 3 different stores 3 times in a week. Once at Target, and twice at the food store. All of the times, she was shopping alone and I had my 3 year old and 1 year old in tow. Her kids are in college and I envied her pushing her shopping cart all alone, while I tried to get through my list while simultaneously throwing goldfish at my children.  She said to me “I remember those days." She said it as if she missed them. Really? I am thinking to myself. You are in Target-  ALONE!
Then we went to Disney and constantly people are commenting “Enjoy this, it goes too fast.”  Somehow, I don’t think you can appreciate this phrase until your kids are grown. Because you’re tired mama. It’s hard to enjoy every second. Sometimes kids are hard and demanding and it doesn’t feel like it’s going fast. It feels exhausting.

Last week, I held a friends 3 month old baby and I thought “Aww, I remember when my babies were this small. It goes too fast.” Dammit ! I thought the phrase!!!
So in an effort to "Enjoy this," I’ve started to stop and pause. When my toddler is splashing all over the bathroom in the tub, I laugh and splash with him. I hold onto the snuggle time a little longer. I listen to my 3 year old sing the god awful “daddy finger “ song because she thinks it’s great.

Because we all need to “Enjoy this. It goes too fast.”

Love,

Kendall
 

It's a long nine months...

In the past few months, I have had a few first time pregnant friends talk to me about being pregnant. The consensus being the same for all of them. Pregnancy sucks. There I said it. Pregnancy is awful. If you were one of the people who walked through nine months looking and feeling amazing, then this particular blog is not for you (and the rest of us hate you). For starters, most of the time you feel sick as a dog, for the first few months. It's like being hungover all the time without the fun night before and the only thing you can tolerate is Gatorade and crackers. Then usually somebody comments, "Gatorade probably isn't good for the baby?" Oh yea? Well it's the only thing the baby tolerates so stop talking. Not to mention, pregnancy migraines, carpal tunnel, swollen feet, weight gain, acne, etc.  Oh did I mention, you can't take Advil while pregnant? You can have Tylenol which basically has the same effect as eating skittles when a full blown migraine comes on. Put all that together and you have a pretty miserable nine months to survive. 

I was talking to a friend and she was expressing how crappy she felt and said she felt fat and uncomfortable. I commiserated but I said, "When this baby comes, you won't believe how much you love your baby. You won't care about anything else except your baby." A few weeks after her birth, she told me "You were right. I can't believe how much I love my baby." 

Two things I am sure of:  Pregnancy is really hard. It is the first of many sacrifices you will make for your baby. The second being You will love your baby more than anyone/ anything in your life. You really can't imagine until you hold your baby for the first time. 

So hang in there pregnant mamas. You're going to get through this. You are going to get to the Finish Line with the most precious gift the world has to offer.

Love,
Kendall

Lady and the Tramp

Lady and the Tramp

Last summer I was very pregnant, as my son was born at the END of August. This summer I realize how uncomfortable I was last year being so big and pregnant.  It reminded me how hard being pregnant was and I thought of a conversation I had with one of my best friends a few months ago. My friend Katie (who has two kids) called me after watching “Lady and the Tramp” with her daughter.  A classic movie. She was infuriated because in the movie the husband tells his wife “he doesn't want her walking the dog in her condition.” Her “condition” is she is about 12 weeks pregnant, give or take. Now here is where I add, my friend Katie is a Veterinarian and was performing surgery on 100 pound dogs at 9 months pregnant.  So of course we had a good laugh about this movie made in 1955.

Now, I am not saying you shouldn’t walk your dog pregnant.  However, it did make me think about how far the pendulum has swung in the other direction. If Disney had a pregnant character in 2017, she would probably be exericising  throughout her pregnancy, working until she was 39 weeks and expected to get back into shape 3 months after giving birth.  In my opinion, we have forgotten as a society what a big deal having a baby actually is.  Being pregnant is really hard. You feel sick, exhausted, everything aches, you might be swollen, etc. Let’s not forget the mamas who carried twins, you deserve a heroic medal!

When you actually have the baby, you are beyond exhausted, in physical pain and adjusting to this new life. My mom always said, “Someone has to mother the mother.” This could not be more true. New moms need help. They need food. They need support. They need to know how fabulous they are just by being a mom!

So to all my fellow mamas out there:  When you feel like you cannot do it all, keep the house clean, exercise, make pinterest like chalkboards for your kids first day of school, know this… 60 years ago someone would have walked your dog as you laid on the couch in your first trimester.

You’re amazing. You’re fabulous. You’re a MOM!

Coffee on the couch

When I was younger, if I woke up before 6 am, I would find my mom sitting alone on the couch drinking her coffee. I often wondered why she woke up so early to stare at her coffee cup instead of putting it in a to go cup and drinking it on her way to work. 

Now, as a mom, I get it. I also look forward to the early mornings before my kids wake up drinking my coffee alone on the couch. I ignore the little song the dishwasher sings telling me it's time to empty it. I pretend there are not clothes in the dryer waiting to be folded. I don't rush to clean up the toys off the floor. I just sit and stare at my cup enjoying the quiet. Some days I get 30 minutes, most days about 8, before I hear the sound of the baby crying or a little voice saying “Mommy, I want juice please.” Some people might use this time to sleep in a little longer, accomplish a task or exercise, but I find the coffee on the couch time to be more beneficial. It helps me to  prepare for the day.  

As a mom there is rarely quiet time during the day or even a few minutes to yourself. It's so important to take just 15 or 20 minutes to do whatever you need to re -energIze yourself. It might be coffee on the couch, going for a walk, doing some yoga breathing, or enjoying a nice glass of wine. Whatever it may be, make sure you take the time mamas, you definitely deserve it!

Just like my mom, even if my coffee on the couch time gets interrupted by a crying baby or a sweet little voice, I still feel more ready for the day to begin. It may be the time alone or the jolt of caffeine, but either way it makes my day. 

There is no good time to visit a new mom.

There is no good time to visit a new mom. I'll say it again. There is no good time to visit a new mom…unless you come bearing chicken parm.

After my second baby, I came to realize why people should not visit new moms. The sole reason being there is no good time of day to visit. Let me explain. At any time of the day, the baby could be sleeping and therefore I could be sleeping. At 10 am, I could be sleeping with the baby, at 2 pm or 6 pm. Get what I'm saying?   We had visitors (or sleep stealers as I like to think of them) come visit after my second baby was born. Also let me add, I’m not Martha Stewart on a good day. Never mind when I just made a person. My sister says that, "You did a good job, you made a person.”  Pretty amazing when you put it that way right?  So I found it stressful to have to pick up my house before these visitors came over to make it look like I had it all together when I really wanted to just crawl into a ball and go to sleep.

People mean well but they ask questions like, “How was your birth?  “How’s your older child adjusting?”  Umm… I'm still recovering and actually it's time to go soak my stitches so I'll brb. As for my older child, she doesn't even know what having a sibling means so stop asking her dumb questions. Not to mention my biggest pet peeve of all…when you're breast feeding and people ask, “That baby is eating again?”  Seriously, it made my blood pressure rise or I was just overtired and cranky (another reason to steer clear ).

If someone has an older child, the most helpful thing you can do is take them out of the house. My mom and sister did this frequently which was a huge help.  Bring them to your house, the park, the movies anywhere will do and this gives you time with the baby and possibly some SLEEP!  

A month before my second baby, my friend's mom asked what she could get the baby. I replied “Nothing, can you just make me some chicken parm?” And she did! It was seriously delicious! I’m very grateful to all those who brought me food. New moms are hungry and don't have time to cook. My dad said it best. He said "Kendall, when the baby is 3 months and you feel pretty good, nobody is going to come see the new baby."  I have to agree. The truth is after 12 weeks you feel better, you possibly have slept for 5 hours in a row, you physically don't hurt, and you're ready to pour the coffee and cut the crumb cake for your visitors . So in short, if you decide to go visit a new mom before she is 12 weeks post partum, I suggest you bring her chicken parm.